Chillin’ With Chili: The Recipe For The Deadpan Cook Plan Series

Last week, I attempted to cook up some chili. I figured the process would be simple – chili is essentially the garbage disposal of recipes. I assumed you dumped everything into a crockpot and then walked away.

Yet, I found a way to mess it up.

Making chili is easy and should be foolproof. But in my stubbornness and manic running around, I didn’t bother to grab one of my three cookbooks for a reference, nor did I feel the urge to look up a quick ingredient list online. Similar to how a bird naturally knows to migrate during the winter, I figured instinct would take over and create this dish.

That is how this happened:

 If vegetables went to a pool party.
If vegetables went to a pool party.

My chili was watery, had an overwhelming flavor salt, and was not chili.

So, to roll with this failure, I’m claiming it as a SUCCESSFUL Stewli: a hybrid stew/chili.

Below, you’ll find the wonderful recipe for this SALTY SURPRISE.

…Should I not call it that?

I’d say send me your beautiful stewlis but

a) That sounds way too close to stool, and

b) I truly doubt anyone will be inspired by this recipe.

Instead, maybe share some recipes even I can’t mess up, and we’ll put it to the test.

Published by Angus Eye Tea Podcast

A weekly podcast about living with anxiety and depression.

%d bloggers like this: